What is a Little?

I am not an expert, and this is by no means a completely correct explanation of Littles, but a summary of the knowledge that I've come to acquire over the years I've been a part of the Little community. To learn more about Caregivers, please skip to "What is a Caregiver?".

You may be confused about what a Little is, and you are not alone. Whether you are a caregiver, a Little yourself, or just curious, the fact is that most people do not have a clear definition of what a Little actually is. The answer is quite simple. There is no real definition. A Little is someone over the age of 18 who is simply more in touch with their inner child than the average person. This person takes solace in their inner child, or little space, and the way each person does that is different. Some may color and watch cartoons, others may wear diapers and drink from bottles. Either way, we are all kids in this great big world trying to make sense of it all!

Knowing what a Little is isn't half as important as knowing what we are not. Littles do not all have parental issues. Littles are not nor should they ever be compared to pedophiles. It is and will always be wrong to accuse someone of something like that because they enjoy watching cartoons and coloring. All Littles are not female. Not all Littles have been through some sort of trauma or have something awful in their past. Not all Littles are petite, and they are certainly not all princesses! There is no right or wrong way to be a Little, and Littles vary greatly just like anyone else.

There are two main types of Littles: Adult little girls and boys and Adult Babies. All Littles are not Adult Babies, even though there are some who may enjoy babyish things such as pacifiers but do not consider themselves Adult Babies. Littles who are decidedly older are typically more independent than the Adult Baby, similar to the way a school aged child is more self sufficient than a toddler. Littles should always, however, be treated based on the age they identify with and what makes them most comfortable. If your little one is a baby, then treat her or him as you would a baby. Is she old enough to be potty trained but young enough to sleep with a nightlight? Is he rambunctious and energetic like a 6 year old? Treat your little as old or young as they act.

Are you unsure if you're a Little? Well, ask yourself a few of these questions: do you quickly form intense attachments to things? Do you have a favorite toy or childhood item, such as a stuffie or blankie? Do you enjoy pacifiers or other baby items? Do you feel younger than you physically are, some or most of the time? If you answered yes, you're probably a Little. And guess what? There's a whole community of people just like you!

What is a Caregiver?

After finding out what a Little is, the next logical question to arise is what is a Caregiver? The concept of a Caregiver is just as confusing as that of a Little to some, but just like Littles there is no real definition. Simply put, a Caregiver is someone over the age of 18 who cares for and loves a Little. They may or may not also be a Dominant. People who identify as Caregivers take pleasure in helping their Little one grow as a person. A sense of being needed is fulfilled.

It is equally important to know what a Caregiver is not just as much as it is to understand that about Littles. Caregivers are not pedophiles and should never be compared to such vileness. Caregivers are in no way attracted to children and it should never be assumed that they are. Caregivers are not using Littles as a means to "legally" get off on some twisted fantasy.

What attracts Caregivers to Littles is not the fact that (most) Littles exhibit childlike behavior. Remember that Littles are adults and what attracts Caregivers to Littles is that they have a desire to be cared for and that compliments the CG's natural urge to care.

All caregivers are not "Daddies", they are not all tall and unnaturally handsome, they are not all strong enough to pick up a fully grown adult and carry them around. They're just people just like Littles! Caregivers come in all shapes, sizes, and colors just like Littles.

What is a CG/L Relationship?

After learning what Littles and Caregivers are, what happens when the two come together? Littles and Caregivers have a very special relationship that is widely referred to as the "CG/l" relationship or dynamic. Each one is different but all include similar aspects. The first thing to understand, however, is that not all people who participate in such a bond are dating, married or in a romantic relationship (more on that later) and that is not required to have a fulfilling, loving or "true" dynamic.

All CG/l relationships should involve:

*Participants over the age of 18. Period.

*A firm foundation of trust and understanding of needs.

*Openness and honesty with your partner.

*An understanding that CG/l is a special part of, but not the only part of the romantic relationship (if there is one).

We will discuss each of these key points to help create a better understanding of this dynamic.

Any and all parties participating in a CG/l relationship must be legal adults. I am no end all authority by any means, but CG/l is a facet of BDSM. The reason this is true is because it is a power exchange dynamic. The Caregiver is a Dominant and the Little is a Submissive. You must be a legal adult in order to consent to a BDSM relationship. The fact is these things can be a quite complex because people are multifaceted beings, but I will keep this as simple as possible. As a subcategory of BDSM, SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consentual) still applies to CG/l. For those who are curious or unclear about what BDSM is, please click here to learn more.

There are some who believe that just because you meet a person who calls themselves a Daddy, Mommy, or even a Little that you automatically are in a CG/l relationship or that it will be the perfect epitome of your personal definition of CG/l that you see on social media when that couldn't be farther from the truth. A CG/l relationship takes time, practice, and above all else, patience; even when there's a strong, immediate attraction. Just as any other relationship, these are the ingredients for a successful and lasting partnership.

In order to fully submit to or dominate a person, you must take the time to get to know that person. People are made up of many tiny details that compile to form the individual. There is absolutely no way to know that a person is perfect for you or that you are destined to be with them after only a short time. Think of an iceberg; only about 10% is visible. What you see should be taken at face value and you have to delve deep beneath the surface to have a full understanding of just how massive and complex it is. The people you admire on social media had to work at their relationship to get it to where it is, it did not happen overnight.

Because being Little is at the core of the individuals in question, it is a very vulnerable and sensitive thing that should be treated with respect and the utmost care, even by the Little themselves. It takes time to get to know one's Little self and what he, she, or they need. Having a clear understanding of what each participant needs is at the base of every successful CG/l relationship. Anything that you expect or need to be happy and feel fulfilled should be discussed once you and your partner have decided to add this dynamic to your relationship. This is not a one time conversation as needs and expectations tend to change over time. Compromising may be, and usually is, necessary in any relationship but this should not be confused with settling. Please note that you do not have to settle, nor do you have to perform specific favors for your partner in hopes that they will give in to what you want (more on this later). Coming up with a plan that suits each person's needs is always the goal, and it can take time to achieve this but it is worth it if you work together.

CG/l is a wonderful, beautiful aspect that can consume you and sweep you into a world of amazing feelings and experiences that you may wish would never end. But. The reality of being involved in a CG/l relationship is that it is not all encompassing and simply can not be everything. The key to a healthy CG/l relationship is balance. It is a must that you balance your adult relationship along with your Little one. DO NOT BASE THIS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S NORMAL. What works for one couple may not work for you and that's okay! Do not listen to someone who believes that all Littles should reserve littlespace time for the weekend because that's what works best for them. The key to achieving balance is knowing how your life operates both in and out of littlespace while also realizing that you don't have to be full-on Little all the time. There are several ways to remind you of your littleness that can be sprinkled into your every day life. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your personal balance, remember we're all different!